My boss left; and I was freaking out
There is nothing to prepare you for the first time you find out your boss has been fired.
About 15 minutes after arriving to the office, I got an email from my boss’ boss stating there was a meeting in 30 minutes in the conference room. Attendance was required and everyone on my team was invited. Those 30 minutes were some of the most anxiety inducing minutes I’ve ever had as a working professional. My mind began racing.
“Are we all out of a job?”
“Did someone do something?”
“Is my resume up to date?”
“Will I still have insurance?”
“What am I going to do?”
Those 30 minutes went by both incredibly fast and slow at the same time. We all packed into a room clearly not meant to seat as many people as had been invited. It was quiet. No one was talking. Few were looking at each other in the eye. About 5 minutes after I arrived, my boss’ boss arrived. Everyone was looking at them and holding their breath.
Thank you for being here on such short notice. I asked you to be here today to let you know that as of today, [my boss’ name] is no longer with the company. We are grateful for their time and contributions of support over the last two years. I’m sure many of you have questions…
I don’t remember many details after that moment. Some people had questions about what it meant for them and their work. There were questions about plans to backfill. Most of the questions went unanswered.
Quietly, I was freaking out.
Fired or resigned; does it matter?
There is ALWAYS chatter behind the scenes after finding out your boss is leaving. Were they fired? Did they find another gig? What happens now? While you might not have all the context or reasoning why your boss left, there are two signals I’ve experienced to tell the difference.
If other people tell you your boss is no longer there, it’s likely they were fired.
If your boss tells you they’ll no longer be there, it’s likely they’re resigning.
It’s always more complicated than this, but when your boss is fired, I’ve found that I had little involvement in what happened next. That sucked. Conversely, when my boss resigned, there’s been more intention and planning about what happens next. When I was involved in the plan for what’s next, that was a good sign!
Signals your boss might be leaving
Twice during my career, the person who recruited and hired me was fired within six months of my arrival. Twice during my career, the person who recruited and hired me resigned for another opportunity. Each time, this person was an executive leader in charge of large teams. Each time, despite different circumstances surrounding why they left, each boss exhibited very similar behavior patterns.
After coaching and training design leaders for the last three years, I’ve heard others describe these same behavior patterns that premeditated their boss leaving. Here are some signals that in the near future, your boss may no longer be there.
They talk a lot of shit about their boss, leadership, the company, or their peers. From teams meetings to your 1:1s, they’re treating each as a therapy session. Lots of things are broken around them, but it’s definitely not them.
A re-org has happened and one of three scenarios occurs; the re-org was a surprise to them, they have a new boss, or their responsibilities have been significantly reduced
They are actively trying to work around their own boss. Whether by having lots of skip-level meetings, defying explicit instructions, or creating lots of special projects outside of the purview of their leadership.
They’re not excited by any of the work anymore. They’ve changed from being highly engaged with projects, people development, communications, to working more in isolation increasingly talking about the days they won’t be your boss anymore.
They give late notice to attend, cancel or skip regularly scheduled meetings. Now, this is not a signal by itself because everyone has personal lives to manage. But, if this behavior is in addition to other behaviors above, IME that’s a strong signal your boss might be leaving.
It wasn’t until the second time that my boss left that I began to see these patterns. It wasn’t until the third time that I began taking more proactive steps when these signals began to emerge.
*Btw, if you’re the boss and exhibiting these behaviors, your team is freaking out. It’s on you to show up differently.
What do you do when those signals emerge?
When you begin noticing these signals or behaviors, I believe it’s important to notice them, then make deliberate decisions about what you’re going to do about them. Some that have helped me along the way are:
Resist being pulled into the mud. If your boss, or really anyone for that matter, is throwing shade at others, notice what your initial urges are. It’s easy to join them. I’ve made this mistake many times. Never once did trashing talking help me feel more confident or comfortable. Also, you’re not their therapist.
Reflect on your current role at your current company. Have you be able to accomplish what you wanted to? Do you feel safe to challenge conventional thinking? Are leaders fully committed to inclusion? Are you excited to do the work? Are you excited to work with your colleagues? Do you feel seen and heard? Are you making enough money to thrive?
Do the same type of prep work you might have done when you first got the role. You may have to engage with new leaders and peers, so it’s good to have some clear, concise ways to describe what you do and why it’s important. Especially when it comes to your own development.
Freshen up your resume and portfolio. I mean, you need to do this anyway. A great time to review your own stuff is when you’re not under pressure to get a gig.
Sorting out your own shit after it happens
One thing is clear: things will change.
In my experience, there’s rarely a comprehensive plan for when someone is fired or resigned. At best, you’ll be involved in next steps. I have yet to see an organization that is thinking about your expertise and how your expertise is prioritized with the future direction of the company. More often, you’ll know who your new boss will be or what team you’ll be reassigned to. Either way, it’s good to breathe!
Having gone through this a few times, here are some things I wish I knew ahead of time so I wouldn’t freak out.
Don’t panic. Remember, your boss getting fired has nothing to do with you. Otherwise, you’d be fired too.
Prepare to redo much of the groundwork you’ve previously done. From new leadership to new partnerships, all the established relationships have changed and with new players comes new behaviors.
Resist the urge to throw mud. If this is your coping mechanism, it no longer serves you. Eventually, your mud slinging will spread to others whether or not they were in the room. It will reflect poorly on you.
Consider that project work will slow even when senior leaders say it won’t. It’s the inertia that happens with change. Again, don’t panic.
Release the burdens you’ve been carrying while managing your boss’ toxicity. If your boss was toxic, that’s a toxic person you no longer have to deal with. What a lovely gift you’ve been given.
Write about your experience. This is not about publishing, but putting the bad vibes on paper so you can quite literally close those pages. Writing might help you to get to the other side and discover what you make happen that no one else can.
There’s only one guarantee in a job–at some point, everyone will leave. Even your boss. Coming to terms with this fact can help you when it becomes a fact.
